Being a student means sometimes having to eat out or order food when I’m too lazy to cook. So, here are a few tales that have almost always accompanied my ideal of eating out-
A friend of mine was really hungry and had nothing to eat at home so she decided to make an order from a restaurant close by. Their conversation-
“Hello, is this ABC Restaurant?”
” I want you to deliver a plate of chicken fried rice, one chicken lollipop and steamed momos.”
“Ok, one fried rice…”
“Not fried rice, I mean non-veg, chicken fried rice”
“Matlab, you waaaant(stress on this word) one fried rice, lollipop, momos”
“Yes, non-veg momos”
“Theek hai, we’ll deliver it in 15mins”
“Ok, thanks, waiting”
After 10mins, she calls the guy,
“Bhaiya, where are you?”
“Coming ma’am, 10mins more”
She calls him after 15 more minutes,
“Hello, where are you? 15mins have passed.”
“Sorry ma’am, I’m in the hospital, accident happen on the way”
“Oh, sorry, bye”
After 5mins, she calls him again,
“Emmm bhaiya, can’t you send your brother to bring it? You just call him…”
I never got to the end of the conversation because I couldn’t stop laughing.
Valentine’s Day, went out with a couple of friends for dinner, while our order was being taken, a dude interrupted by asking the waiter-
“How long is my order going to take?”
The dude was told he just had to wait a couple more minutes.
We were still deciding on what we wanted when the dude interrupted again, this time he looked angrier. Here’s what he said,
“Excuse me, what time is here on my bill?”
“How long was my order supposed to take?”
“What’s the time now?”
“So why I have not received my order?”
“Sir, you just wait a little, we’ll give it to you soon”
“Soon? That’s not my problem. Is that my problem? No, it is not. You told me 15mins, now 15mins is over, I want my order right now. Your service is so poor, I’ll report you to your manager.”
The waiter was just calm and handling the issue very well. In my head I was like, dude, chill, you just came here, its Valentine’s day, be happy man.
After sometime, his order came. Sometimes I think Indians are really lucky with the kind of service they get when they go out, in Nigeria, if you make too much noise, they’ll just give you back your money and tell you they’re not ready to sell. You can go kill yourself.
Last one, I was really hungry and went out to get pizzas for myself and my gang(because we’re gang-gy kind of people, not slobs, if you get my point).
While waiting for my order, the shouting started.
“Why he is receiving order before me? What is my order number? What is his order number? You not doing your job right! Do you know who I am? I will call someone and shut down this place! Do you know who I am? I will get you fired!”
And the best part…
“Don’t angry me! Don’t angry me!”(In my defense, I just smiled, other Indians there, just laughed it off, like I said, I’m a good person 🙂)
I think he got this line from an Akshay Kumar movie.
This went on for some time until he was given his order. My heart was just filled with pity for the ‘Employee of the month’ who was on the receiving end. The things we copy from Bollywood is a topic for another time.
I’ve never really had the guts to get angry at a waiter but I can’t say the same for my friends.
*[It’ll also be nice to know that I’m paraphrasing, can’t give the full details of everything that happened in every scenario.]
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