I remember the night before I left for India, my mum handed me a sealed bag of free government mosquito net. All I thought was that it would be useless. For Christ’s sake I”m going abroad, there’s no mosquito abroad.  True to my little mind, I have never been treated for malaria since I came to India, three years ago.

Although, I’ve been treated for having a high fever, chills, headaches, muscle aches, and nausea all at the same time, I have never once being diagnosed by an Indian doctor, to have caught malaria.

My visits to the doctor are always short and straight to the point. Its not because I hate hospitals, which I do, its because I always seem to know too much, more so, to my own disadvantage.

Before I go to the doctor, I prepare a “To Ask List” of all the symptoms I’ve experienced, whether relevant or not, as long as it seems to be a symptom, it is therefore a symptom on the To Ask List. I love lists. Then I proceed to my online Google doctor, I have quite a few and the best part, its free of charge. Then when I notice that my symptoms are pointing towards heart disease or pancreatic ulcer, I log out of the computer and have faith as any christian mother would want of her child.

When I get into the doctor’s office, I can’t even say what I want because there’s either a woman(nurse?, attendant?, cleaner?, I have no idea) looking strangely at a black girl(me). If she isn’t present, the door is wide open for Indians to stare, which is totally uncomfortable. No doctor patient privacy thing which I see on American TV series. At all.

Then he proceeds to tell me that I have an inflamed large intestine or something else in those medical terms which no engineer cares about(I am in no way implying that I am an engineer in the making). Once, I went to him and he said, I drink bad water.” You should boil your water before drinking,” ” what?” *begin pidgin english* “Lazy Naija chick can’t fit to do that.” *end pidgin english*

The goal of this post? – Just to ask a simple question, why would my Indian physician never accept that I have malaria? Instead, he goes on to testify that there is in fact, no malaria in India(The WHO can testify against this). Which is a bogus lie(tautology intended).

Doctors know best. Almost Always.

It may also interest you to know that my white double bed mosquito net is my best night friend.



2 thoughts on “Mosquitoes

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