DESI SIRA

I’ve been noticing a lot of changes in my lifestyle these days and I’m not the only one complaining about these changes.

Before I came to India, I would close my mouth while I yawned

or say sorry after I steped on someone or say excuse me when I try to get the attention of someone.

These days, not so much, I’m going to give an elaborate explanation of exactly what I mean.

One day, my roommate was crossing the jagatpura phatak(train crossing) and some seconds later, realized that she had been scratching her buttocks publicly and no one seemed to care which is why she didn’t realize sooner. Indians, especially the men seem to scratch anywhere, including the crotch area as soon as there is a reaction or simply put an itch. They seem to have no pity for scratching this area. To me, I feel like it’s a “do me, I do you back” situation. When she got home and told us about it, we couldn’t stop laughing.

On my own part, I yawn so frequently, it’s unbelievable like 6 to 7 times in succession. Sometimes, when I belch I forget to say “excuse me” and I have to be reminded by my friends. I don’t know the word for this act – it happens when there’s catarrh in your throat and you’re trying to  clear your throat to relieve yourself of that feeling of choking? Indians do this a lot without any pity on the listener.Its DISGUSTING! I longer get angry or feel disgusted by this act.

These days, I’m an expert in the art of getting onto an Indian bus,whether it is motionless or in motion.This may not seem like a big thing but it is actually.

The other day I tried to get into a bus from phatak to the university and this overweight guy tries to push me out of my well earned spot just so he could get on the bus. I don’t know what he was thinking, maybe she’s too thin to have enough stamina to withstand my push but to his surprise he almost fell down when I pushed back. Now, this is why I’m an expert at this. Sometimes, if you’re lucky a bus conductor maybe kind to you since you’re a “larki” else you have to push and pull like everyone else. This also reminds me of the first time I got on a train in Potheri, Chennai. There’s no foreigner when it comes to the Indian transportation system, which I love. Although there are tens of buses it never seems to be enough to carry everybody without people looking like sardines in a moving metal can.

Next, yelling to get people’s attention. I noticed I have begun shouting “Hey!”, “psst!”, “you!”, “stop!”, “come!”, “wait!”, “bhai”, “bayer” “chalo”, “ruko”, “rukna”,etc. just to get peoples attention. Now it’s becoming part of everyday life, when you go to the stores, when you call an auto, its all becoming normal.

And in my speech I always use “tike”, “accha”, “han”, “hanji”, “nahi”, more frequently than I think I’m supposed to, I even use it while talking to my mates.

Another thing is playing music from my mobile phone without any ear phones; the Indians who do this the most are the ones who use the “China” mobile phones. I don’t know if you’ve seen the speakers on these things, it s enormous and loud else I wouldn’t complain. I noticed I’ve done this once or twice while leaving the house and since I hate it so much, I don’t understand why I do it.

I love bikes, Ok, I love “scooties” the opposite was the case, I mean, after I got burnt by the exhaust pipe of a motorcycle, we couldn’t be friends. But now the tale (did you notice how I said tale instead of story?)is different. Since almost all my Indian friends own bikes, there’s no way not to love the thing.

The worst of them all is that I can’t go a week without having a taste of any Indian non-vegetarian meal, although due to some constraints I’ve had to go without it for 3 weeks. Needless to say how much I love the

tandooris,

kebabs or chicken tikka,

chicken fried rice,

chapati,

basmati rice with anything,

butter chicken,

chilli chicken

and most of  all Bisleri water.

Although I miss Naija, I have to make do with what I have.

Least I forget, these are just my views on the observations I’ve made where I live. Not all Indians exhibit these characteristics.

I own no rights to the photos used in this post, I just googled them up.

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